wiaw #10 – forgive me
Wow already that time again and I am definitely not prepared!
Please forgive me!
But first before we talk about my lack of photo taking, let’s head over to the lovely Jenn’s and give her a big thank you for hosting What I Ate Wednesday.

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I had been given multiple challenges by my nutritionist and I even made one for myself!
But with these challenges I had felt my dishes weren’t really photograph worthy, that and by time the dishes were done, half the time I was so hungry I did not want to take the time to take pictures!
So this will be more of a What I Always Seem To Be Eating post instead.
It’ll work right?

oats topped with a mix of chocolate pb and chocolate protein powder. banana slices and a sprinkle of granola. i added a wee bit too much water to the chocolate protein powder, but meh, stirred in quite nicely. and still super tasty, and that's what matters, right? right.
I’ve actually been trying to simplify my oatmeal a bit, but I just can not go with out some peanut butter. Or banana. It’s just a must.

on the side a mini greek yogurt mess. topped with pineapple, cherries and a sprinkle of whole foods vanilla granola.

i just thought this picture was pretty.
Another delicious bowl of oats I devoured.

oats topped again with a mix of peanut butter and chocolate protein, topped with banana, raspberries and some cville cluster
Seriously the Cville Clusters granola is like crack. I’m going to be super sad when it’s gone. So glad I got the sale on OpenSky.
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One of my challenges was to make cheese enchilada’s. I have been avoiding real cheese in general, I don’t eat much dairy (other than yogurt I just can’t help myself) and of course I’m sure my ED had something to do with my avoidance of cheese. But I told myself I would do this, and when we went shopping Matt wouldn’t even let me get the reduced fat cheese. That jerk.
We went to Trader Joe’s to pick up some ingredients, as their products are just simply amazing, and if you haven’t tried their enchilada sauce, you must. It seriously is amazing and makes a world of a difference. I love it. But what don’t I love at Trader Joe’s? I mean seriously, ketchup addiction? Best bean dip ever? The list goes on.
No pictures, but let me tell you the enchilada’s were delicious! I can’t say I felt so wonderful after dinner and giving myself time to think about what I ate. But the fact that I ate them was a huge accomplishment for me.
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this has been my lunches lately. panini, oven roasted veggies (TJ ketchup) and a side of soup.
And it’s actually been a very long time since I have had one of these. I kind of miss them.

soy chocolate panini with apple. this was an old challenge i think which is why the sweet potato made an appearance. but what can i say i'm known for my random combinations.
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Another challenge I had was oddly an Amy’s vegetarian pot pie. My nutritionist wanted to see if the fat content would keep me fuller. Now, my stomach has actually been leveling out a bit so it kept me decently satisfied. I definitely didn’t feel “stuffed” after eating it, but I also didn’t let myself eat anything after it. I also paired it with a small side salad, so that might have helped keep me a bit more full. On a side note, those pot pies are pretty darn good! I had never had a pot pie before. Amy, you did well.

seriously one of my best creations. tortilla filled with pumpkin, banana bread hummus and an apple might have snuck his way in there. maybe a banana? who knows.

paired with a small side salad mix of baby spinach and romaine topped with some fresh veggies.
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So I am finding that these food challenges are…I guess quite easy to eat? I mean, it is food I use to love, so I really enjoy eating the dishes. But all my weight gain, and body image issues is really what’s killing me. I am so not happy with my body right now and feel so ugly. I can not wait for the day I can look in the mirror and be happy. Be proud of my curves, be happy with my belly pouch, and not worry about the size of my thighs. -sigh- in a perfect world right?
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Oh and by the way, the next time you use up all your greek yogurt, you should do this.

note this is a 16oz container, but seriously puffins + greek yogurt + dark chocolate almond milk = true bliss.
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And to try and make up for my lack of photo taking, you have this cutie patootie.

i mean seriously. what dog poses that well with a tasty english muffin in her face? chomp chomp.
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So although I don’t have pictures of my recent eats, they were definitely worth mentioning. I’m proud of myself for meeting my nutritionist challenges, I just mentally want to be at a place where I can be happy with my body.
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What do you love about your body?
Do you accept your flaws?
Do you ever find sometimes you are so hungry you can’t wait to take pictures? Gah, this happens to me a bit too often!
Do you still love your football team even if they have a 0-5 season after being undefeated and winning the superbowl?
(Rhetorical question)
Go Colts.

matt would say "keep the faith"
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I’m so happy I found your blog! I have gone through and am still currently going through some of the same challenges you face. It gets easier, I swear, and with the help of your wonderful husband, I’m sure you’ll recover even faster! Best of luck to you, and I’m definitely going to continue reading. ^_^
thank you so much! i love having readers like you because it really helps having others who have been there and KNOW what it feels like because honestly if you haven’t gone through this yourself, you have NO idea how hard it is, and the daily struggles. I mean we live with this 24/7 it never goes away.
looking forward to hearing from you <3
Your oats do look EXTRA pretty and amazing! When I find my meals to look awesome, I take more pics!
You and Matt are so cute together! When are you getting married, I didnt know if you had a date set, just wondering!
Happy Wednesday! xoxo <3
wedding is actually on hold due to me leaving my job and now with all my new doctors, we just have different priorities right now and want to focus on getting me healthy first. plus money is obviously a bit tighter. we just want to make sure we can still have the wedding we want, so we decided to wait. so no date right now. but im sure when we do you will hear about it <3
have a wonderful day love.
I have to tell you, I am so impressed with your dedication to your challenges! I know how impossibly hard it can seem. I hate that moment after you eat it and you feel victorious for like two seconds and then the evil ED monster springs to life and screams every foul thing possible. So. Frustrating. I am working on loving my body, but sadly, I do not. At least for the moment. But I have faith that the Lord will bring me through that. He is opening my eyes up to so much. Freedom is going to be so amazing! I can’t wait until we both experience it. Its gonna happen..
If I wasn’t working with a team, I really don’t think I would be doing this well. I could NOT do this on my own. The mind is way too powerful, but if I don’t complete my challenges, my nutritionist makes me go out to eat with her. haha. So doing them on my own gives me some sort of control. Although wanting to be in control is what gets us in trouble in the first place!
I have faith you will get there. Please know I am here if you need support or a good kick in the butt!
I LOVE all of your oats. They are simply amazing.
Love my body? I have my good days and my bad days. Accepting flaws is hard.. but I also know I don’t want.. nor will I ever have a perfect body. I mean.. what IS a perfect body?! Isn’t beauty in the eye of the beholder.. and found in imperfections?
Cait, I completely agree and I want to get to the point to where MY body is perfect because it’s MINE. Not because of the number on the scale or the number in my jeans.
All your eats look great! I love your photography, especially your oats/yogurt ones in the beginning
i am glad you enjoyed looking at them because i enjoyed eating them <3
I’m so bad at taking pictures of my food, too. I just want to eat it! This was the first week I ever managed to take a smoothie picture–once it’s all whipped up I just want to down it, and I never remember to pull out the camera until it’s too late. All your eats look/sound amazing! And my oatmeal HAS to have some peanut butter on it too, otherwise it’s just not oatmeal. And not nearly as delicious…
I love my loser of a football team no matter what. but b/c they keep losing im not paying for tix to see them this weekend even though i’ll be in town for the game (FSU plays in NC this weekend). jerks. haha! =) still heart them!
Happy WIAW love! sorry i cant comment super duper often. life. is. crazy!!!!
i will love that team till i die regardless probably. haha.
im sorry youre super busy, I MISS YOU. hopefully all is going well.
<333
i think your picutres are beautiful! such color and flavor! which means they are nourishing. Now I am curious about this banana bread hummus. sounds heavenly.
I am glad you are finding the love of food again. I think the more we savor, the more we appreciate. That being said, I cannot wait long enough to take pictures either. I am always hungry. haha.
Check out this post for the banana bread hummus recipe. It is SO addicting. http://accidentlydelish.com/?p=213
Gorgeous oat creation girl! I swear plain oats and pizza crusts are like blank canvases…just ready for you to make a masterpiece…and the best part about it? They’re EDIBLE!
You sound like you’ve been making a lot of progress with your challenges. Change is never easy and I think sometimes it’s that feeling of discomfort you feel in the beginning that can help remind you later how far you’ve come! I’ve never had an eating disorder myself, but what woman isn’t her own worst critic, right? Sometimes I can accept my flaws and sometimes I want to dwell on them. I just take one day at a time and try to focus on the things that I love about my body…like how after years and years of “chicken legs,” I finally have some muscle in my calves! Bring on the fall boots! Woo hoo!
Oh and too hungry to take a picture? Ha! Sometimes, its a wonder I don’t try nibbling on the camera! Haha!
sometimes when i read your posts i almost start nibbling on my computer screen! haha.
i love that you can appreciate your “flaws”. it’s definitely a process for me to get there!
Chocolate panini! Awesome idea. And those oats do look delish (I would have posted extra pics too
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[...] know I have been boasting lately about my plain oats, and trust me, they were delicious. But I decided to dress my oats up a bit more this morning and [...]
Hi I am obsessed with your blog. I recently have struggled with some challenges in life….different from yours but to summarize I would basically eat compulsively when I would get depressed then feel terribly guilty. I have started to take a serious look at my eating habits and stumbled accross your blog and Kiss my Broccoli’s when I researched Incredible Greens (awesome product BTW!). I love your entries. They are so real and heartfelt. Also the recipes and your connections to other bloggers with recipes has been really helpful! I live in Canada and we don’t carry a lot of the products you reccommend but with some digging I have found an online store that sells some of the nut butters and spreads you rave about. However, Chobani isn’t one of them lol. This is still an ongoing search lol. Thank you so much for sharing your life and recipes. Your success is so encouraging and you truly are an inspiration!
Thank you do much for your kind words. And Heather (kiss my broccoli) is by far one of my favorite bloggers who turned into a great friend.
Her recipes and creations are amazing! I myself have gotten so lazy with my meals but i blame it on my decision to go back to school and becoming a full time student (best decision ever though!)
We all have our struggles and I think regardless of what side of the track we are on we need to learn to love and appreciate ourselves and our bodies. Coming back and reading this post has actually made me realize how much progress I have made! So I can say to you have faith, fight your inner battles and hopefully you too can realize that food is not the enemy and you are beautiful despite what flaws you feel you have.
Best of luck to you and I hope you continue reading!