protein jam packed panini


I have had a very long week, so I am very excited today is Friday as it is my one day off.

It means I might actually be able to catch up on a little blogging and with all of you, but sometimes I swear there just isn’t enough time in the day. I have sooo many errands to run and finding the time to shove it into all one day feels like just another day at work.

But I did manage to still find some time to join in on the #strangebutgood fun.

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This is another one of those, I wish it took better pictures because it was way better tasting then the pictures do it justice.

But I feel like it is still worth sharing.

This meal kind of came together from a past sandwich I had made, to something new I had seen, probably on Pinterest somewhere that I wanted to try, and I just ended up kind of combing the two.

Story of my life.

But alas a delish new sandwich was made.

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I don’t know what to call it other than delicious!

What is it:

Protein Cream Cheese Chocolate Peanut Butter Tofu and Jam Panini

(now that’s a mouth full)

To give it a better name:

Protein Jam Packed Panini

(now that has a nice ring to it)


– 2 slices bread of choice (I used spelt)

– 1 serving chocolate peanut butter tofu (recipe below)

– 1 serving protein cream cheese (recipe below)

– 1 tbsp of blueberry jam ( I used homemade blueberry chia jam)


– Spread chocolate peanut butter tofu, protein cream cheese and jam between the two slices of bread.

– Cook on panini maker until warm and crispy. (you could also use a skillet and cook like a grilled cheese)

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Chocolate Peanut Butter Tofu



– 1/2 block silken tofu

– 1/4 cup peanut flour (I use this)

– 2 tbsp unsweetened cocoa

– 10-13 drops liquid vanilla stevia


– Place in small blender or magic bullet and blend.

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Protein Cream Cheese

(for one sandwich)


-1/4 cup cottage cheese

– 1 tbsp vanilla protein powder (I used Plant Fusion – Vanilla Bean)

– 5-7 drops liquid vanilla stevia


– Place all ingredients in a small blender or magic bullet.

– Whip until you get a cream cheese consistency.

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I served this with a side of oven roasted plantain chips.

For the plantains I just cut up a plantain, brushed them with coconut oil, sprinkled with cinnamon and baked for about 20 minutes.

I only buy one plantain at a time because I typically only make my plantain bread with them. I don’t know why because there are so many other amazing ways to use and eat the plantain, Lord knows I’ve pinned about 3942342 different recipes I want to try, but even just roasting them was a nice switch up and obviously better for you than your typical potato chip.

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What’s your favorite healthy swap? I love making “fries” out of so many things. Sweet potato, carrots, parsnips, plantains… I really just love to roast everything.

(I buy a lot of my products and ingredients for these recipes from Use my code YAL235 for $10 off your first purchase)

chocolate peanut butter tofu panini

Happy Friday my loves!

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Whew, this week flew by.

I first want to say thank you for all the supportive comments I got on my last post; comments on the blog and the personal messages you guys sent me. I really appreciate the support in my decision to distance myself from others who I feel are hindering/affecting my recovery.

I want to make it clear that I will still be blogging, that will not change or stop. But what will happen is I am just personally unsubscribing and choosing not to read or communicate with others I feel are jaded to their eating disordered behaviors and choices.

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But enough of that. Because it’s Friday. And Friday’s are meant to be fun.

And what’s more fun than Laura’s #strangebutgood get together? Not many things.

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I originally was going to feature this little concoction.

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“Raw” tempeh and blueberry jam sandwich.

Not the strangest I know, but new to me and I know some people don’t like the whole sweet/savory combo.

(pssh crazy people)

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Then I created another concoction that I thought deserved the spot light.

This again might not be new to some, and I did get my inspiration from this, but I of course made a little twist of my own.

Peanut Butter and Chocolate Tofu Panini


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The recipe I originally found was for firm tofu, made in a skillet.

I only had silken tofu (that desperately needed to be used) and clearly it wasn’t going to hold up in a skillet.

So I racked my brain on how I could make this work.

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Magic Bullet to the rescue and a beautiful chocolatey peanut buttery tofu goodness was created.

Kind of like the tofu pudding I made before, but adding it to a sandwich and making it a panini, well that’s what makes it kind of strange. But so good.

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I was nervous how it would be warm, but oh my goodness it was amazing.

I then of course had to try it on something cold.

I mean who would I be if I didn’t compare hot vs. cold.

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I am in the process of experimenting with a protein english muffin recipe (that still needs some perfecting) but a pretty good trial came out this morning. It wasn’t quite as firm as I wanted so I put it in the fridge to see how it would hold up. When I went to eat it and was thinking of what would be good on top, hey why not some chocolate peanut butter tofu?

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Not too shabby if I do say so myself.

The muffin tasted amazing, but I still need to get the texture figured out to make it more firm like an english muffin.

Don’t you worry, I’m not giving up.

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Are you a fan of tofu?

Have you ever made it sweet?

happy birthday to me – with strange but good eats

Hello all my love bugs!

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I hope you are all recovering well from your Christmas comas. I sure am trying, but does anyone else think the holidays just fly by too quickly?

Christmas is already over, today is my birthday (!!!), and then we have New Years.

Talk about busy busy busy.

But there is always time for a fun new feature and that’s Laura’s Strange but Good.

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It’s no secret that my foods are a bit, not normal if you will.

Need proof?


Soy Chocolate Panini? I mean really. Who puts pudding on a panini?

This girl.

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Wanna see the most random lunch plate ever?

iPhone 1998

That would be an english muffin, half topped with chocolate coconut butter, other half chocolate peanut butter and blueberry jam, oven roasted broccoli (with  ketchup for dipping of course) and raw carrots.

Random. Weird. Delicious.

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And I really thought I hit a new boundary the first time I tried my first “sweet” sweet potato.

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Sweet potato topped with cinnamon spiked cottage cheese, peanut flour sauce and a sprinkle of granola.

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But let’s not dwell on the past, let’s look to the future of my weird food habits.

Because I had one lately that is just too tasty not to share.

But be warned. It kind of random. And kind of weird.
But that’s why we’re here right?

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I introduce to you Egg White Pumpkin and Blueberry Jam Panini.


Looks like a big mess huh?

It kind of was.

But it was delicious none the less.

Here’s what went into it.

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– 1/2 cup egg whites

– Cinnamon

– 5-8 drops NuNaturals vanilla

– 2 pieces bread of your choice (I used Spelt – best bread ever)

– 1 tbsp blueberry jam

-1 tbsp pumpkin puree

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Assembling Directions:

– Combine first three ingredients together in a bowl.

– Cook egg whites in skillet until cooked through. (I folded mine into a little triangle after)

– Spread jam and pumpkin on slices of bread.

– Add cooked egg whites on top and cook on panini maker.

– Remove. Slice. Enjoy.

A messy deliciousness was made.



Random. Weird. Just the way I like it.

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Well loves I’m off to celebrate my birthday with some sushi and some friends. Perfect way to spend my night if you ask me. Then tomorrow Matt and I are heading to Tucson for the weekend. It’s going to be a great birthday weekend, I can tell.

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What is one of your weirdest food combinations?

wiaw #45 – realizations and obsessions

Hello hello!!

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Want to hear a shocker? This is going to be short. Probably boring. And really repetitive. And I greatly apologize.

I will never regret my decision on going back to school, but I am telling you this Pharmacology class is killing me. There is just so much. And I really feel like I don’t have enough time.

This Saturday Matt and I had plans to go to a friends for her birthday/pool party/cook out. Well Matt ended up going, but I stayed home to study.

Here is what really stinks about this situation. I am finally at a point where I want to go out, social situations no longer scare me. Different foods don’t scare me. And I want to see my friends.

What stinks, is I know I need to be responsible. I know I need to study. I know I shouldn’t go. So I didn’t. Ugh. It sometimes is so hard to make the right decision.

So all day Saturday I studied. And hated every second of it. But it was what had to be done.

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What else needs to be done?

What I Ate Wednesday of course.

But this is where I warn you of the boring part. Because my meals have been quick and repetitive.

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They also have been spent at this place a lot. I need to buy stock.

Breakfast at Starbucks before class. Check.

Pick me ups at Starbucks. Check. Seeing a trend?

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But I do have something fun to show you. Quite ugly. But fun.

We all know my obsession with my soy chocolate panini.

I made quite a delicious addition that other day, which I don’t know why I didn’t think of earlier.

(warning. this is ugly)

What was my lovely addition you ask.

Peanut Butter.

So simple. Should have been done forever ago, but oh.em.gee. what a great addition.

I also didn’t use chocolate pudding in this one.

I also discovered yogurt works really well.

I was sketchy about heated yogurt, but if you can heat pudding, you can heat yogurt.

(pictures taken at a computer desk just really aren’t that great are they?)

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So what’s in this ugly lovely concoction?

Ezekial cinnamon raisin bread

Chobani vanilla greek yogurt

-1 tbsp PB Crave Cookie Nookie

-apple slices sprinkled with cinnamon.


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Another dish that hasn’t been getting old is my powercake.

I am obsessed to the max.

Not a bad thing I suppose, there could be worse things to be obsessed with.

Ugh. And nothing beats a topping of peanut butter and granola goodness.

It too quickly turns into this.

Saddest part of my breakfast.

I never look forward to this moment.

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Well my loves, I hope you are having a wonderful week.

I will continue to hate Pharmacology and pray for me I pass my next test.

I’m sure you will be hearing about it.


I first want to say THANK YOU for all your support in my schooling and studying.

A lot of the comments have been telling me to “take a break” and “not stress out”. It actually reminded me I totally left a part out of my post I wanted to write about!

I did take time off that weekend!

I actually realized I was working my brain way too much! So Matt had a dodge ball tournament on Sunday and afterwards we had decided to have dinner out and just relax and spend time together!

It was an amazing night. I studied some during the day and the rest of the night was just him and I.

And yes. Don’t worry. I rewarded myself.

(yes he has pink vet wrap on his hand. the perks of dating a vet tech student)

Ahh. A nice cold beer. I enjoyed every last sip of it. And every moment of relaxation with the boy.

The rest of the night was seriously couch and TV. Another thing I am getting better at is learning how to balance, but thank you all for reminding me!!

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What are you recent food obsessions?

wiaw #33 – a visitor from the past

Hello my love bugs!

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Happy mid-week! I hope everyone is doing wonderful.

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It has been kind of stressful around here.  We found out Monday that Matt’s mom was taken to the hospital due to GI problems and severe dizziness.  We’re still not 100% sure what is going on, but she did have some GI bleeding. For those who follow me know how important Matt’s family is to me. His family is my family. Since mine basically abandoned me when I told them I had an eating disorder, Matt’s parents have been more than supportive. They mean the world to me.  So this is hitting me as if it was my own mother. Because really, she IS my mother.

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On top of that, school is starting to get to me again. It’s just so much. So quick. I’m doing well don’t get me wrong, but sometimes we all have our freak out moments.

It happens. It’s allowed. And it will pass.

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But on to fun stuff.

Because we like to keep it fun and light around here!

What I Ate Wednesday.

We all know I don’t have a problem in the veggie section.
Dinner time for me is always veg-tastic.
Meals again have been kind of repetitive, I wish I had something new to share, but alas, let’s take a gander at what I have been shoving in my mouth!
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A lovely guest has made a re-appearance. A very very welcome appearance.
I forgot how much I loved these things.
The chocolate soy pudding panini.
It’s been too long.
Way too long.
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In it is chocolate soy pudding, apple slices, banana bread hummus and a sprinkle of cinnamon.
Pressed hot on the panini grill.
I’m telling you. This sandwich is divine.
But we all know the huge sweet tooth I have.
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Another come back king?
The salad beast.
Someone went a little crazy in the produce section.
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Broccoli, zucchini, cherry tomatoes, peppers, carrots you name it. It’s probably in there.
I like veggies. What can I say?
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Dinner’s have been kind of boring.
So let me show you some green I have been craving.
It has been way too long since I have had sushi.
Good sushi.
One night I caved and got sushi from Trader Joes. Now, I love everything Trader Joes, but it just wasn’t the same. Way too much rice.
So if a certain someone is reading -cough Matt- a sushi date would be highly appreciated.
-tee hee-
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Well my lovlies, I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of their week, and please keep Matt’s mom in your thoughts and prayers.
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What food have you been craving lately?
When you go out to eat do you stick to places you know you like or try new places? When it comes to sushi Matt and I like to stick to places we love, although, you never know if you will love a place if you don’t try it once. We also love to try new places we have never been too. Especially since we moved, it’s all new to us!
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There is still time to enter my Incredible Greens giveaway! Submissions end tonight! Hurry!

simplicity at it’s finest

First off thank you all so much for the comments on my cookie post!

It was a lot of work, but a lot of fun! I forgot how much I enjoyed baking.

I had a few requests for the recipe for the Peanut Butter Cookie with the Reese’s Cups so I thought I would post it.

(Modified from Iowa Girl Eats)

Her recipe called for cookie butter and trust me if all the Trader Joe’s weren’t sold out of it I would have used it too.

No really. I called 4 Trader Joes. All out. So you know the stuff is good!

So I ended up buying a new peanut butter to use and experiment with. It was an organic chunky peanut butter made with flax seeds.

And it may not have been as good as if I used cookie butter, but it sure was good.

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Peanut Butter Cup Peanut Butter Cookies

(Makes 20-25 cookies)


1/2 cup butter (I used Earth Balance)

1/2 cup Trader Joe’s Flax seed Chunky Peanut Butter (or feel free to sub whatever peanut butter or nut butter you have/want)

1/2 cup granulated sugar

1/2 cup brown sugar

1 egg

1/2 teaspoon vanilla

1 1/4 cups all purpose flour

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

20-25 Reese’s miniature peanut butter cups


1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Cream together butter, peanut butter, sugars, egg and vanilla until light and creamy. In a separate bowl, sift together flour, baking soda and salt. Add dry ingredients to wet ingredients in 3 batches, mixing until just incorporated before adding the next batch.

2. Spray a mini muffin tin very well with non-stick spray. Add 1 Tablespoon cookie dough into each cup. Bake for 8 minutes exactly. Unwrap peanut butter cups while the cookies bake.

3. Once the cookies have been removed from the oven, immediately push one peanut butter cup into the center of each cookie. Cool in mini muffin tin completely before removing.

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Seriously these cookies are to die for.

Happy baking!

(let me know if any of you make these and how they turned out)

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Remember when I said since I had time off from school I would be spending more time in the kitchen? Well. Let’s say meals haven’t really turned out that way.

Let’s just say my new rut has been simplicity.  But not because of laziness or lack of time. It’s been what I’ve been craving.  And you know me and going with my cravings. I feel like you should. And I have. So yes my meals may be a bit boring this time around, but they have really hit the spot.

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My breakfast started out, you guessed it. Super simple.

simple toast with trader joe’s fig butter (♥) on one half and crofter’s jam on the other.

Ok, so I know bread is bread, but I found this amazing new bread at Sprouts.  It’s actually Sprouts brand and it’s an organic whole wheat/oatmeal bread. It is amazing.  Again, I know. Just bread. But it is so thick and just super tasty. I’m in love.

on the side some banana and greek yogurt sprinkled with some cookies and cream protein powder and cinnamon.

Sometimes simple is satisfying. And this was. I was actually full, content, and happy. All good things if you ask me.

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Hey guess what lunch was? Super simple.

turkey panini with a side of trader joe’s roasted red pepper soup.

I usually get Pacific’s roasted red pepper soup, but it is just so expensive.  I saw Trader Joe’s had their own, and we all know my love for all of their products so I thought I would give it a shot.  Surprise? Amazing.

again something so satisfying from a simple panini.

But I do always say anything made into a panini is delicious. And it is.

(as we can see my phone is still not fixed. grr)

My soup almost looks neon.

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On to dinner.

It was pretty…dun dun dun.


black bean quesadilla.sans cheese. with of course some salsa on the side.

I am seriously so simple at times, I bore myself.

I hope I am not boring you all too much.

i have been on a huge bean “quesadilla” kick lately. i don’t know what it is, but they have just really been hitting the spot lately.

Since I don’t use cheese, I try to add some sort of substance along with the beans.  Sometimes it’s pumpkin, sometimes it’s Trader Joe’s black bean dip and honestly sometimes it’s just beans.

-yawn- Boring.

I know.

I warned you.

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So let me try and spice things up a bit.

Maybe give you all a bit of a laugh.

You know how I always post about this cute face?

aw. look how precious she is ♥

Now let’s take a look at what that super cute face can do.

not so cute anymore huh?

Coming home to this is not fun by the way.

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Do you ever have a day of simple meals? Do you mind?

Are you done Christmas shopping yet?

How mad could you really be at that face?

wiaw #11 – loves

Hey lovies! ♥

Time sure does fly, I didn’t even realize it was party time!

So let’s start off by thanking the beautiful Jenn at PeasandCrayons for hosting this wonderful party we call What I Ate Wednesday!

I seriously lost track of time and didn’t even realize what day it was, and I have been completely slacking (again) on taking photo’s of my food.  So how about a few of my favorites? Some recent, some not so recent.

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Breakfast Loves

this bowl of oats = ah-mazing. chocolate pumpkin oats topped with banana slices, raspberries, and cville clusters.

If you want to know what I put into my chocolate pumpkin oats, check out this post. Because seriously. You need to make these.

banana oat pancake topped with chocolate protein frosting and a love sprinkle of granola.

Thanks to these I now look forward to having “too ripe” banana’s!

recent obsession = tofu scrambles. this one is a pumpkin variety. pumpkin butter on one half pumpkin infused tofu on the other. fresh peach on the side.

 I went a little pumpkin crazy at one point and seriously put it in everything.

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Lunch Loves

one of my most random but most delicious lunches. english muffin one half with chocolate coconut butter (ob-sessed) the other half with chocolate peanut butter and blueberry jam. carrots and oven roasted veggies. oh yea. ketchup to dip. duh.

salad beast. topped with everything in my fridge. sprinkled with dulse and nutritional yeast.

oh how i heart panini's. soy chocolate panini with apple and banana bread hummus. trader joe's vanilla greek yogurt (♥!!) topped with fresh kiwi and strawberries. i miss berry season.

no really. i love panini's. veggie panini with oven roasted veggies and a mini yogurt mess on the side.

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Dinner Loves

one of my food challenges, but so good. spinach cheese tortellini with oven roasted veggies in marinara sauce. yum!

simple and satisfying. bean quesadilla (sans cheese) sometimes i get crazy and add pumpkin in there. crazy i know! (sprinkle a little cinnamon too and you'll be in love)

whole wheat tortilla pizza's. Seriously you can do so many things with these. this one has trader joe's bean dip as the sauce topped with baby spinach, zucchini, yellow and red bell pepper and soy crumbles.

I’ve also made number of other varieties including pumpkin/hummus pizza’s and you can of course feel free to use your standard pizza sauce! The possibilities are endless!

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Snack Loves

some things i am obsessed with. greek yogurt, cottage cheese and peanut butter and jelly.

So my promise to you is next week I will actually photograph my food and I’m a bit mad I haven’t lately because I have had some good eats!

I hope everyone has a wonderful rest of the week!

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What are some of your recent food loves?

What are some of your favorite snacks?

wiaw #10 – forgive me

Wow already that time again and I am definitely not prepared!

Please forgive me!

But first before we talk about my lack of photo taking, let’s head over to the lovely Jenn’s and give her a big thank you for hosting What I Ate Wednesday.

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I had been given multiple challenges by my nutritionist and I even made one for myself!

But with these challenges I had felt my dishes weren’t really photograph worthy, that and by time the dishes were done, half the time I was so hungry I did not want to take the time to take pictures!

So this will be more of a What I Always Seem To Be Eating post instead.

It’ll work right?

oats topped with a mix of chocolate pb and chocolate protein powder. banana slices and a sprinkle of granola. i added a wee bit too much water to the chocolate protein powder, but meh, stirred in quite nicely. and still super tasty, and that's what matters, right? right.

I’ve actually been trying to simplify my oatmeal a bit, but I just can not go with out some peanut butter. Or banana. It’s just a must.

on the side a mini greek yogurt mess. topped with pineapple, cherries and a sprinkle of whole foods vanilla granola.

i just thought this picture was pretty.

Another delicious bowl of oats I devoured.

oats topped again with a mix of peanut butter and chocolate protein, topped with banana, raspberries and some cville cluster

Seriously the Cville Clusters granola is like crack. I’m going to be super sad when it’s gone. So glad I got the sale on OpenSky.

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One of my challenges was to make cheese enchilada’s.  I have been avoiding real cheese in general, I don’t eat much dairy (other than yogurt I just can’t help myself) and of course I’m sure my ED had something to do with my avoidance of cheese.  But I told myself I would do this, and when we went shopping Matt wouldn’t even let me get the reduced fat cheese. That jerk. 🙂

We went to Trader Joe’s to pick up some ingredients, as their products are just simply amazing, and if you haven’t tried their enchilada sauce, you must.  It seriously is amazing and makes a world of a difference. I love it. But what don’t I love at Trader Joe’s?  I mean seriously, ketchup addiction? Best bean dip ever?  The list goes on.

No pictures, but let me tell you the enchilada’s were delicious!  I can’t say I felt so wonderful after dinner and giving myself time to think about what I ate. But the fact that I ate them was a huge accomplishment for me.

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this has been my lunches lately. panini, oven roasted veggies (TJ ketchup) and a side of soup.

And it’s actually been a very long time since I have had one of these. I kind of miss them.

soy chocolate panini with apple. this was an old challenge i think which is why the sweet potato made an appearance. but what can i say i'm known for my random combinations.

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Another challenge I had was oddly an Amy’s vegetarian pot pie.  My nutritionist wanted to see if the fat content would keep me fuller.  Now, my stomach has actually been leveling out a bit so it kept me decently satisfied.  I definitely didn’t feel “stuffed” after eating it, but I also didn’t let myself eat anything after it.  I also paired it with a small side salad, so that might have helped keep me a bit more full.  On a side note, those pot pies are pretty darn good!  I had never had a pot pie before.  Amy, you did well.

seriously one of my best creations. tortilla filled with pumpkin, banana bread hummus and an apple might have snuck his way in there. maybe a banana? who knows.

paired with a small side salad mix of baby spinach and romaine topped with some fresh veggies.

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So I am finding that these food challenges are…I guess quite easy to eat?  I mean, it is food I use to love, so I really enjoy eating the dishes.  But all my weight gain, and body image issues is really what’s killing me.  I am so not happy with my body right now and feel so ugly.  I can not wait for the day I can look in the mirror and be happy.  Be proud of my curves, be happy with my belly pouch, and not worry about the size of my thighs. -sigh- in a perfect world right?

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Oh and by the way, the next time you use up all your greek yogurt, you should do this.

note this is a 16oz container, but seriously puffins + greek yogurt + dark chocolate almond milk = true bliss.

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And to try and make up for my lack of photo taking, you have this cutie patootie.

i mean seriously. what dog poses that well with a tasty english muffin in her face? chomp chomp.

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So although I don’t have pictures of my recent eats, they were definitely worth mentioning.  I’m proud of myself for meeting my nutritionist challenges, I just mentally want to be at a place where I can be happy with my body.

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What do you love about your body?

Do you accept your flaws?

Do you ever find sometimes you are so hungry you can’t wait to take pictures? Gah, this happens to me a bit too often!

Do you still love your football team even if they have a 0-5 season after being undefeated and winning the superbowl?

(Rhetorical question)

Go Colts.

matt would say "keep the faith"